Animal Jokes
A collection of Animal Jokes from around the net and Animal Jokes from my “Animal Jokes” books, I hope you find the Animal Jokes you are looking for.
(Q) Why was the centipede late?
(A) Because he was playing “This little Piggy” with his baby brother.
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(Q)How come the big giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper?
(A)The elevator was broken!
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed,
I’ve not been told!
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Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch, one asks the other, “Can you recall your worst day last year?” The other bat responds, “Yes, the day I had diarrhea!”
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(Q) How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?
(A) He barked g-r-r-r-rilla!
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(Q) What did the farmer get when he crossed a centipede with a Turkey?
(A) 100 Drumsticks!
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(Q) What do you get if you cross a Sheepdog with a rose?
(A) A collie-flower!
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(Q) How do cats eat spaghetti ?
(A) The same as everyone else – they put it in their mouths!
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(Q) What happened when the dog went to the flea Circus?
(A) He stole the show!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) Why do a Koalas carry their baby’s on their back?
(A) Because they can’t push a pram up a tree!
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(Q) What’s small and cuddly and bright purple?
(A) A Koala holding it’s breath!
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(Q) Why did the chicken get in trouble?
(A) Because it used fowl language!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?.
(A) Winnie the Pooh!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What do polar bears eat for breakfast?
(A) Snow flakes!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?
(A) Swimming trunks!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) Why shouldn’t you loan books to a dog?
(A) It will make them dog eared!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
(A) When you are a mouse!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
(A) Because they have got really big fingers!
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(Q) Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?
(A) Because there are too many cheetahs!
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(Q) What do you get when you cross a chicken with a tree?
(A) A woodpecker!
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(Q) What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
(A) A walkie talkie!
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(Q) What’s spotted and bouncy?
(A) A leopard on a trampoline!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
(A) She had mittens!
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(Q) What do you get if you cross a Goldfish and a Chimp?
(A) A swim-panzee!
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(Q) What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
(A) I don’t know, but I’m not going to smell it!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What’s little and quick and has 32 wheels?
(A) A spider on roller skates!
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(Q) What do you call a gorilla who is wearing earmuffs?
(A) Anything coz he cannot hear you!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) Why do birds fly South in the winter?
(A) Because it is too far to walk!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What is the strongest animal?
(A) A snail because he carries his house on his back!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What do you get from a cow that jumps up and down?
(A) A milkshake!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
(A) A woolly jumper!
Animal Jokes page
(Q) What do frogs drink?
(A) Croak-a-cola!!
(Q) What did the clean dog say to the insect?
(A) Long time no flea!
(Q) What’s striped and jumps?
(A) A zebra with hiccups!
(Q) How do you start a teddy bear race?
(A) Ready,Teddy,Go!
(Q) Why are fish so smart?
(A) Because they live in schools!
(Q) How do bees travel?
(A) They take the buzz
(Q) What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
(A) A headbanger.
(Q) What kind of snake is good at math?
(A) An adder!
(Q) Why did the rabbit go to the doctor?
(A) He felt a bit jumpy!
(Q) What do you get when you cross a high chair and a bird?
(A) A stool pigeon!
(Q) What do you call a cat that can jump far?
(A) A catapult!
(Q) How do turtles communicate?
(A) By using shell phones!
(Q) What’s grey and squirts jam at you?
(A) A mouse eating a doughnut!
(Q) What did the dog say when it dropped its ice cream?
(A) Doggone it!
(Q) Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
(A) Because there was a KFC on the other side!
(Q) What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch?
(A) Time to get a new watch!
(Q) Why aren’t elephants allowed on beaches?
(A) They can’t keep their trunks up!
(Q) What’s the difference between a bird and a fly?
(A) A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird!
(Q) How does a hedgehog play leap-frog?
(A) Very carefully!
Animal Jokes page
Thank you for viewing Animal Jokes, do you have any Animal Jokes? feel free to include them on the Animal Jokes page on http://www.clean-jokes.net
Animal Jokes,