Blonde Jokes
A collection of Blonde Jokes from around the net and Blonde Jokes from my “Blonde Jokes” books, I hope you find the Blonde Jokes you are looking for.
Two blondes are on a train sitting in a cabin next to an older gentleman who happens to have a very long beard.
One of the blond girls whispers to the other ‘Wow, look at that, it’s Charles Darwin”
“Are you stupid, he’s been dead for over 200 years” the other blonde replies.
Just then another older man walks into the cabin and says “Howdy Charles I haven’t seen you for hundreds of years, what have you been up to?”
Then the first blonde says to the second “Who’s stupid now then?”
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(Q) Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
(A) Because you have to hollow out it’s head!
Blonde Jokes page
(Q) How do you measure a blonde’s intelligence?
(A) Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Blonde Jokes page
(Q) Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
(A) They think their picture is getting taken.
Blonde Jokes page
(Q) A blond going to Australia on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
(A) Tell her that the seats that are going to Australia are all in the middle row.
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(Q) What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
(A) She took the 33 bus twice instead!
Blonde Jokes page
(Q) What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
(A) Wave to her!
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A man was trimming his bushes when his blonde neighbor walks out, checks her mail only to see that the mailbox is empty, then goes back inside.
Five minutes later, the blonde comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it’s still empty, and goes back in.
The third time she comes out, the man asks her, “Excuse me, is there a problem Miss?”
The blonde replies, “Darn right there’s a problem, My computer keeps on telling me I’ve got mail!
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(Q) Why couldn’t the blond bob for apples?
(A) Her sister was using the toilet!
Blonde Jokes page
(Q) What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
(A) Run, because she’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
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(Q) Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
(A) She saw “911″ on the back of it and thought it was a Porsche!
Blonde Jokes page
(Q) Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?
(A) The noise was giving her a headache!
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(Q) Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
(A) She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
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(Q) Did you hear about the blond who just bought an A.M. radio?
(A) It took her three weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
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(Q) What do you call a smart blonde?
(A) A golden retriever!
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(Q) What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
(A) She slipped off and went down the drain!
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(Q) Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
(A) Because she kept on throwing out all the “W’s”
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(Q) What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
(A) There have actually been sightings of UFOs!
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(Q) What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
(A) Trying to hold on to one of her thoughts!
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(Q) What does a blonde miss the most at a party?
(A) The invitation!
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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really severe hailstorm, her car was completely covered in dents so the next day she took it to a panel shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde so he decided to have some fun with her and told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and all the dents would magically pop out!
So…. the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe as hard as she could and nothing happened, so she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, (another blonde) came home and said, “What are you doing?”
The first blonde told her how the man at the panel shop had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The room mate rolled her eyes and said, “Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first”
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