Blonde Jokes
A collection of Blonde Jokes from around the net and Blonde Jokes from my “Blonde Jokes” books, I hope you find the Blonde Jokes you are looking for.
(Q) Do you know the true reason for all of the blonde jokes?
(A) Brunettes and redheads think they look smart making them all up!
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(Q) How did the blond explain how her helicopter had crashed?
(A) She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.
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(Q) How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
(A) There’s white-out on the screen!
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(Q) What do you give the blonde who has everything?
(A) Penicillin!
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(Q) How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
(A) The green welcome mat is all ripped to shreds!
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(Q) What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
(A) You only have to punch information into a computer once!
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(Q) What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
(A) Last year’s hide and seek winner!
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(Q) How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
(A) Shine a flashlight in their ear.
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(Q) What’s the advantage of being married to a blond?
(A) You can park in the handicapped zones!
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(Q) What did the blonde think of her new computer?
(A) She didn’t like it because she couldn’t get channel 10!
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(Q) What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
(A) They’re both empty from the neck up!
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(Q) How can you tell which tricycle belongs to a blonde?
(A) It is the one with the kickstand attached!
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(Q) Why do men like blonde jokes?
(A) Because they can understand them!
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(Q) What does a blonde owl say?
(A) What, what?!
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(Q) Where do you look for blonds obituaries?
(A) Under Home Improvements!
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(Q) What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside down?
(A) Two brunettes!
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(Q) Why did it take the blond a whole week to wash three basement windows?
(A) It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in!
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(Q) What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
(A) They drowned during Spring training!
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(Q) What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
(A) Pull the pin and throw it straight back!
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(Q) How does a psychic refer to a blonde?
(A) Light reading!
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(Q) Why did the blonde scale the chain link fence?
(A) To see what was on the other side!
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(Q) Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
(A) So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.
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(Q) What do you call a blond in a leather jacket?
(A) A rebel without a clue!
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(Q) What do you call a zit on a blonde’s butt?
(A) A brain tumor!
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(Q) Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
(A) She missed the Earth!
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(Q) How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
(A) Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
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(Q) How many blonds did it take to change the light bulb?
(A) Five, one to hold the light bulb, 4 to turn the room around.
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(Q) Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
(A) The vegetable garden!
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(Q) Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
(A) Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables!
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(Q) Why don’t blondes eat Jello?
(A) They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages!
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(Q) Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
(A) She missed!
(Q) Why don’t blondes eat pickles?
(A) Because they can’t get their head in the jar.
(Q) What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
(A) Frosted Flakes
(Q) If Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy and a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are all walking down the street and they spot a $10 bill, who picks it up?
(A) The dumb blonde! because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde!
(Q) How did the blonde burn her nose?
(A) Bobbing for fried chips!
(Q) When does a brunette have only 1/2 of a brain?
(A) After a blonde dye job!
(Q) What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
(A) Oh no, I’m going to fall again!
(Q) Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
(A) They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.
(Q) What stops then goes then stops then goes?
(A) A blonde at a blinking red light!
(Q) Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diaper once a month?
(A) The instructions clearly state, “good for up to 20 pounds”
(Q) Why do blondes drive BMW’s?
(A) Because they can spell it!
A blonde is in the bathroom and her husband shouts ““Did you find the shampoo?” She answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine”
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very politely if he could see her drivers license, she replied in a tiff, “I wish you guys could get your act together, Just yesterday you take away my license and now you expect me to show it to you”
A blonde fella screams frantically into the phone”My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
“No” he shouts “this is her husband”
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