Blonde Jokes
A collection of Blonde Jokes from around the net and Blonde Jokes from my “Blonde Jokes” books, I hope you find the Blonde Jokes you are looking for.
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A fella decides to take his new blonde girlfriend to a football game and after the match has finished he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies “Oh yes it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don’t understand though”
“What dident you understand?”
And the blonde says “Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back, so I thought to myself, gosh it’s only a quarter!”
Blonde jokes page 3
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York when the flight attendant came by and asked the blonde for her ticket, she told the blonde,”I’m sorry your ticket isn’t for first class, could you please move to your seat thank you” The blonde replied “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York!”
The attendant said “That’s great miss but you’ll have to go to your seat” The blonde responded again, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York”
This conversation continued with the blonde using the same response every time, the attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde’s ear and the blonde immediately got up and went to her seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move? He said “I just told her that this part of the plane wasn’t going to New York.”
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A policeman pulled a blonde over after she had been driving the wrong way on a one way street.
The cop says “Do you know where you were going?” where the blonde reply’s no, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
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A blonde’s house was on fire when she pulls up to her residence in the country, from her cell phone, she calls the fire department in a panic. The dispatcher tells her to settle down they need to know how to get to her house? The blonde replies, “Duh, in your big red fire truck silly”
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There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror, If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar and walked up to the mirror and said “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world” where upon the mirror sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar and walked up to the mirror and said “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world” where upon the mirror sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walks into the bar she walked up to the mirror and said “I think” and it sucked her in!
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk down a beach when suddenly the brunette discovers a magic lamp.
The brunette rubs the lamp and KA POOF! a magic genie appears out of the lamp and tells the girls that he will grant them three wishes…. so each girl will have a turn. The redhead goes first and tells the genie that she’s always been really smart and she is sick of being teased so she asks the genie to make her just semi smart. Suddenly the redhead is turned into a brunette!
Next, the brunette takes her turn and tells the genie that she has always just been sort of smart and she wants to bereally really smart then suddenly KA POOF! the brunette becomes a redhead.
Finally, it’s the blonde’s turn she thinks for a minute or two and then tells the genie that she’s always been dumb and she’s tired of being dumb all the time, the blonde says that she wants to be really dumb! then suddenly KA POOF! the blonde becomes a man!
Blonde jokes page 3
There was a brunette, redhead, and a blonde stranded on an island and the brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated it would be about a 20 mile swim to shore so she announced “I’m going to try to swim to shore!” so she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one (the redhead) said to herself “I wonder if she made it, I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve “So she attempts to swim out, the redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thinks to herself “I wonder if they made it, I think I’d better try to make it as well” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island and the shore was just in sight, but she then thought “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam all the way back!
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(Q) Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container?
(A) Because it said (from) “Concentrate”
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(Q) Why do ya reckon Blonds don’t have elevator jobs?
(A) Because they have no idea of the route!
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(Q) How do you confuse a blond?
(A) You don’t have to, they are born that way!
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(Q) How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
(A) E-I-E-I-O
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(Q) Why do blondes have more fun?
(A) They are easier to keep amused!
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(Q) How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
(A) You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor!
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(Q) How do you confuse a blonde?
(A) Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!
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(Q) Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
(A) You can park in the handicap zone!
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(Q) What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
(A) Pregnant!
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