Julia Gillard Jokes
A collection of Julia Gillard Jokes from around the net and Julia Gillard Jokes from my “Julia Gillard Jokes” books, I hope you find the Julia Gillard Jokes you are looking for.
Julia Gillard Jokes 1
Julia Gillard has announced she intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.
From next week the forms will only be printed in English.
Julia Gillard Jokes 2
Julia Gillard was visiting a Melbourne primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings, the teacher asked Ms Gillard if she would like to lead the discussion on the word “Tragedy”
Ms Gillard agreed and asked the class for an example of a “Tragedy”
A little boy stood up and offered “If my best friend, who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy right?”
Incorrect says Ms Gillard, “That would be an accident”
A little girl raised her hand and says “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy right?”
“I’m afraid not” says Ms Gillard,”that’s what we would call a great loss”
The room went all silent and no other children volunteered, Ms Gillard searched the room.
“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally, right at the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and said……..
“If a plane carrying you and Mr. Rudd and Mr. Swan and Mr. Garrett was struck by a “friendly fire” missile & blown to pieces that would be a tragedy right?”
A great example exclaimed Ms Gillard, “can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
Well, says Little Johnny, “it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be a bloody accident either!”
Julia Gillard Jokes 3
Abraham Lincoln was shot.
Socrates was poisoned.
Julius Caesar was stabbed to death.
Jesus Christ was crucified.
Indira Gandhi was shot.
Louis Mountbatten was blown up by a bomb.
But Kevin Rudd was Gillardteened!
Julia Gillard Jokes 4
A bloke died and went to Heaven, as he stood in front of the Pearly Gates
he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered “Those are Lie-Clocks”
Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock, every time you tell a lie the hands on your clock move.
Amazing! said the man, “Whose clock is that one there?” “That’s Mother Teresa’s clock” replied St. Peter,
the hands have never moved on that clock indicating she never told a lie.
Amazing! said the man,”so whose clock is that one there?” St. Peter responded “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock, the hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his whole life”
Amazing! said the man’ So where’s Julia Gillard’s clock?” asked the man. St. Peter replied “Julia Gillards clock is in Jesus’ office, he’s using it as a ceiling fan”
Julia Gillard Jokes 5
The Pope and Julia Gillard are on the same stage at the Sydney Opera House in front of a massive crowd.
The Pope leans towards Ms. Gillard and says, “Do you know that with one wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts, and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”
Ms Gillard reply’s, “I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope backhanded Ms Gillard across the face!
Julia Gillard Jokes 6
Taffy was a redhead,
Taffy was a thief,
Taffy went to Kevin’s house
To kick him in the teeth.
But Kevin wasn’t home,
So she went upon her way,
And said, “I’ll get the little bugger
Later in the day”.
Kevin went to Taffy’s house,
Taffy wasn’t home,
‘Cause Taffy was too busy
Dealing on the phone.
Kevin went to Parliament,
He was fighting for his life,
He smiled, “Hello” to Taffy,
But he didn’t see the knife!
Taffy was quite heartless,
An evil sort of wench,
She said, “Get behind me Kevin,
Up on that far back bench!
Kevin turned to Taffy,
As a tear glistened in his eye,
And said, “I’ll always rue the day,
That I taught you how to lie!”
Julia Gillard Jokes 7
If you get an e-mail entitled “Nude photo of Julia Gillard” don’t open it as It contains a nude photo of Julia Gillard.
Julia Gillard Jokes 8
If Julia Gillard dident lie she would be a mute!
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