Short jokes

Short jokes

A collection of Short jokes from around the net and Short jokes from my “Short jokes” books.

I hope you find the Short jokes you are looking for.

(Q) What do cows do for entertainment?
(A) They go to the moovies!

(Q) What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone had picked his pocket?
(A) “I can’t believe someone would stoop so low”

(Q) How do you stop a fish from smelling?
(A) Cut off it’s nose!

(Q) What do you call a deer with no eyes?
(A) I have no I-Deer!

(Q) Whaddaya call a boomerang that don’t come back?
(A) A stick!

(Q) What do you call a camel with no humps?
(A) Humphrey!

(Q) Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
(A) Because it scares the hell out of their dogs!

(Q) How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
(A) There is a stamp on it!

(Q) What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
(A) DAM!!!!

(Q) How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?
(A) wave!

(Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
(A) Its not important, whatever you call him he aint gunna come!

(Q) How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
(A) Their lips are moving!

When I was young I used to pray for a bike. It was then that I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Short jokes page

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too BUT if you press the wrong button you will be disconnected!

Short jokes page

A ham sandwich walks into this bar and says “I would like a beer bartender!”
The bartender says “we don’t serve food here”

Short jokes page

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward
the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water!

Short jokes page

A baby seal walks into a club ……………

Short jokes page

Two Muffins are baking in an oven when one muffin turns to the other and says, “Holy hell………. it’s hot in here!” The other muffin says, “Holy hell……….. A talking muffin!”

Short jokes page

Two cows are standing in a field where one pipes up and says, “Moo.” The other turns and says, “I knew you were going to say that!”

Short jokes page

I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results come back negative?

Short jokes page

Two flies are sitting on a piece of crap when one farts, the other turns to him and says “Hey, do you mind? I’m trying to EAT!”

Short jokes page

(Q) What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?
(A) “Okay you two don’t you go starting anything”

(Q) What do you call a fly with no wings?
(A) A walk!

(Q) What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of poop?
(A) The bucket!

(Q) What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
(A) A vampire only sucks blood at night!

(Q) Why don’t sharks eat lawyers?
(A) Professional courtesy!

(Q) How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
(A) Two! ….. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

(Q) Why don’t oysters give to charity?
(A) Because they are shellfish!

Short jokes page

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures!

Short jokes page

Right now I’m having amnesia and Deja vu at the same time ……… I think I’ve forgotten this before?

Short jokes page

 The key to every good relationship is the key, give me back the key!

Short jokes page

Two cannibals are eating a clown when one says to the other “does this taste funny to you?”

Short jokes page

Men are like a fine wine, they all start out as grapes and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you would want to have with dinner.

Short jokes page

A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist “Give me some Chap stick and put it on my bill!”

Short jokes page

Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind!

Some more short jokes here!

Short jokes and quotes here!

Thank you for viewing Short jokes, do you have any Short jokes? feel free to include them on the Short jokes page on http://www.clean-jokes.net

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
Short jokes, 2.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating